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8 Tips for Bedtime Separation Anxiety

Understanding Separation Anxiety and How to Navigate Sleep Disruptions

By Sara Morse, Not a Peep Sleep Consulting & Postpartum Support Services September 18, 2024

Everything is going well with your child’s sleep. You have a consistent routine established and everyone is happy. Then, all of a sudden your baby starts crying at nap time and bedtime out of nowhere. Nothing about their routine has changed and you can’t figure out why your baby is so upset. Could it be separation anxiety? Let’s take a look at why separation anxiety occurs unexpectedly and how we can navigate sleep during this challenging stage.

Separation anxiety typically peaks during developmental phases. These phases are often referred to as regressions. However, I like to refer to these phases as progressions because your baby is actively learning new skills that promote social & emotional, physical & cognitive development. Throughout this process, babies begin to learn object permanence. The term “out of sight, out of mind” no longer applies in their little world. They are fully aware that mom or dad has left the room and may become anxious that you will not return. This is because babies do not understand the concept of time. Babies are also more aware of their surroundings during developmental phases. As a result, a sleep disruption can occur as they begin to learn the new skill of independence.



Here are my top tips to help you navigate your baby's sleep during separation anxiety:

1. Allow for plenty of hugs, kisses & cuddles before sleep.

2. Continue to set the stage for sleep & remain consistent in your routine.

3. Implement quick checks to allow for soothing.

4. Reiterate that it is time for sleep & you will see them when it is time to wake up.

5. Remain consistent with healthy sleep habits. Introducing new habits can create further sleep challenges.

6. Practice skills that foster independence during the day

7. Utilize a red light for a calming/soothing effect

8. Remind yourself that this is all temporary & your baby’s sleep will resume to normal once this phase is complete.

Parenthood is filled with unpredictable moments. Some are more challenging than others. Always remember, you are not alone on this journey. Further help is available when needed. 


Sara Morse is the owner of Not-a-Peep Sleep Consulting and a Pediatric Sleep Consultant, Postpartum Doula, and Breastfeeding Counselor. She has over 25 years of experience working with newborns, infants, toddlers, and their parents. Sara offers support and services through classes and 1:1 coaching to help empower new moms as they transition into motherhood. As a mom of three herself, Sara truly understands the importance of postpartum wellness, solid sleep schedules, and creating support systems!

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